Any Way You Want Me

Manipulation:
It's about persuading you
That I'm what you want.

Answer Me, My Love

She split long ago,
But our lovesick swain still calls,
Thinking she'll come back.

Annie's Song

Take one John Denver,
Add 10 pounds of saccharin,
And you get this song.

Do Think Twice, It's All Right

I'm posting a few songs twice or three times here or there. Sometimes I fix a syllabification error. Other times I alter or rewrite a haiku as new ideas come to me. Speaking of syllabification errors, I spied my first one. I bet there are others. I wrote:

"Annie's song ain't great,
But it does something to Bob --
Mostly makes him feel sad."

That's six syllables! I fixed it.

Separately, I encountered an odd situation when I started writing up haiku based on songs that Dylan performed by other people with whom the songs are closely associated. Should I say that the water that stoned Van Morrison in "And It Stoned Me?" stoned Van in the haiku? Not necessarily, I concluded. I wrote these haiku because Bob Dylan stamped them with his own rendition. Therefore, the water stoned Bob -- even if he didn't get it himself from the mountain stream.

Annie's Going to Sing Her Song

Annie's song ain't great,
But it does something to Bob --
It makes him feel sad.

Angelina

She's one bad lady,
And so good too! Bob wants to
Get her for himself.

Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground

Getting ditched is bad.
Writing a song about it
Can make things better.

And It Stoned Me

Water can't stone you
Unless you're really thirsty.
Bob was quite thirsty.

Amazing Grace

Everyone must sing
Amazing Grace. Bob Dylan
Is no exception.

Almost Done

Bob never finished
This song. It's permanently
"Almost Done." Get it?

Adelita

Who says girls can't fight?
Not this Mexican sergeant.
Where he goes, she goes.

Across the Green Mountain

Bob writes a theme song
For a Civil War movie.
It's good, but it's sad.

Across the Borderline

If you heard this song,
You'd think twice about crossing
Into this hellhole.

Absolutely Sweet Marie

A mean, wicked girl
Sports with poor Bob Dylan.
Bob! When will you learn?

Accidentally Like a Martyr

This relationship
Did no one any good, but
They still kept at it.

Abraham, Martin and John

Lincoln, Kennedy
And MLK were good folks,
But someone shot them.

All You Have to Do Is Dream

Bob invites his wife
To love him in his farmhouse...
And to "blow" his "horn."

All the Tired Horses

The horses are tired.
How will Bob ride? He’s lazy,
He lets the girls sing.

All Over You

Bob's gonna get you.
Whether he'll love you or kill you
Remains to be seen.

All My Tomorrows Belong to You

If this guy traded
On the options exchanges,
You would buy his puts.

All I Really Want to Do

Lovers can be weird.
Bob just wants to be your pal.
Do you believe him?

All I Have to Do Is Dream

When it comes to dreams,
Bob can give the Everlys
Stiff competition.

Alligator Man

It's hard to be an
Alligator Man, but it
Has its benefits.

All-American Boy

"All American."
It means you join a band
And contract VD.

All Along the Watchtower

Joker can't take life.
Thief says, "It is what it is...
Let others suffer."

Alberta #2

Bob has a problem.
Alberta's hair is still up.
He still wants it down.

Alberta #1

Bob would pay this girl
To let down her long, long hair,
And be less mopey.

Alabama Getaway

Bob rocks a road song
By the Grateful Dead. Hippies
Tend to dig this tune.

Ain't Talkin'

Is it ironic?
Bob has logorrhea, but
This time cops the Fifth.

Ain't No Man Righteous (No, Not One)

Bob tells listeners
They'd better get straight with God
Coz they all sinners.

(Ain't Gonna Play) Sun City

Bob ain't gonna play Sun City.
How many South Africans
Asked him if he would?

Ain't Gonna Go to Hell for Anybody

I could be a jerk,
But then, I would go to hell,
So I'd rather not.

A-11

Forbidden jukebox song:
A-11. His ex played
It when they dated.

Acne

Girl won't ask this boy
To senior prom because he
Has poor complexion.

Abandoned Love

Bob's in Mexico
He suffers Spanish heartbreak
In a Latin way.

Cocaine

Cocaine's mighty good,
But it overstimulates.
Cocaine's mighty bad.

Rhiannon

Oooh, look at me, guys.
I'm a sexy witch, and I
Can make you love me!

Been Caught Stealing

Kleptomania
Is something to be proud of.
Kids, you should steal things.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Serial killers
Are more fun than you might think.
Some chicks dig them too.

Rosie

Even rock stars have
Trouble scoring groupies, so
They must pleasure themselves.

I feel a change comin' on

I've posted quite a number of Bob Dylan haikus here, probably more than 10 percent of the ones that I've written. I'm going to try some haikus by different groups. Your suggestions and submissions are welcome!
The rest I will save for what I hope is something that I can turn into a viable work of art.

I'm still thinking about whether to include other writing on this blog. I might just start a new one and leave this for haiku.

Restless Farewell

Nothing is my fault.
Shallow folks made their own beds
Before I showed up.

I Still Miss Someone

He still misses you,
But he's not sure you're sorry
For tossing him out.

I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine

Augustine frees souls,
But people don't like that, so,
Of course, they kill him.

Treat Her Right

Bob gives you lessons
On keeping girls happy and
Begging for much more.

Joshua Gone Barbados

Joshua says he'll
Back the sugarcane strikers,
But he bails instead.

I'll Remember You

Jesus or dark horse?
Bob might be struggling over it.
Jesus saves? Or punts?

It's All Over Now, Baby Blue (Edited, version 2)

Bob leaves a lover
Who can't face reality.
He takes his carpet.

I'm Not Supposed to Care

Gordon Lightfoot and
Bob will look after you, but
They're not supposed to.

The Ballad of Ira Hayes

Pima Indian
Raises Iwo Jima flag,
Goes home, drinks and dies.

Father of Night

If you pray to God
For good, then accept the bad.
You must pay to pray.

Do Right Unto Me, Baby (Do Unto Others)

The golden rule, babe:
Bob says, use it don't lose it.
Don't touch him, either.

From a Buick 6

Bob's chick is tough.
She'll fuck up lesser homies,
But she protects Bob.

Mozambique

Mozambique sounds nice.
Beaches and fun. Que lindo!
Alas, not quite true.

Northeast Texas Women

Texas is quite large,
And has a corresponding
Mix of cutie pies.

Blind Willie McTell

Deep south, magnolias,
Slaves, plantations, blues singers...
Chicken-fried music.

The Boxer

Bob sings a big hit.
Bridge over troubled vocals.
You won't like his take.

Dancing in the Dark

I sit and mope some.
I could write a book, or we
Could get it on, too.

I'm in the Mood

You know what I mean
When I coo at you like this --
I'm ready to rut.

Jesus Christ

Christ might be cool now,
But he was unpopular
With his peers back then.

Johnny B. Goode

Johnny B. Goode's mom
Supports all his career goals.
She's a tastemaker.

She Belongs to Me (Self-Portrait)

Watch out for this one.
If you're searching for a gem,
Try another song.

She Belongs to Me

This chick is the best
So you'll do nice things for her,
But she doesn't care

Masters of War

Tin-pot dictators
Might destroy the planet, but
They should fear folkies.

Jamaica Farewell

A sailor gets laid
While at port in Kingston Town.
He misses the girl.

Half as Much

If you could love me
Half as much as I love you,
I'd be twice as happy.

Blue Yodel No. 1 (T for Texas)

Not just for Texas,
T starts the names of two chicks
Who messed Bob up good.

Wichita

If you take the train,
Make sure you dress warm because
It might get chilly.

Railroad Bill

I fear Railroad Bill.
In this song he kills a guy
Whose name's MacMillan.

Good Rockin' Mama

Hot sexy mama,
Rocks me all the time. (That means
We have sex a lot.)

Why Do I Have to Choose?

One man's dilemma:
He wants two ladies at once.
What's wrong with that, babe?

Good Morning, Little Schoolgirl

Guy chats up schoolgirl.
Registered sex offender?
Or being friendly?

Tears of Rage

Unfaithful daughter
Casts aside family for gold.
Please go back to them!

No Time to Think

A muddled mess, this.
And it goes on and on and
On and on and on.

You Can't Judge a Book by the Cover

Looks like a farmer,
But hip-shakes like a lover.
One hot book-cover!

Love Her With a Feeling

Love her with feeling.
Shake it that way too, Bob says.
Or don't. Up to you.

Wildwood Flower

Guys say anything
To get girls out of their pants,
But they don't mean it.

Waltzing With Sin

Waltzing with sin is
Not the dance ticket you want.
It's not good for you.

A Voice From on High

Jesus paid for you
On a pretty big deal. So
You owe him one, dude.

We Three (My Echo, My Shadow and Me)

Did you know you were
Dating three of us at once?
Echo, shadow, me.

The Usual

Pink elephants, smokes
And your alcoholic friends --
You know: The usual.

She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain

Is she a freight train?
Then what are the white horses
Doing pulling it?

A Change Is Gonna Come

Bob takes Sam Cooke's song
Of civil rights and plays it
At the Apollo.

Here Comes the Sun

Bob tried this song once
And stopped part-way through. Maybe
He forgot the words.

Sinner Man

Sinner man runs, but
No one shelters him. God says:
Dude, give Hell a try.

Stones That You Throw

You know this lesson --
The one about glass houses:
Don't throw stones in them.

Thief on the Cross

That thief on the cross
Might have something to tell Bob,
Like, "Get religion!"

I Guess Things Happen That Way

Forgetting this girl
Ain't easy. Remembering
Ain't cool. There you are.

Hey Good Lookin'

When you meet hot chicks,
Ask them what's in the oven.
They'll give you some grub.

Sukiyaki (Ue O Muite Aruko)

GIs in Japan
After the war slow-danced girls
To Sukiyaki.

Every Grain of Sand

Dylan finds his place
In the cosmos. I'm like this
When I smoke some grass.

San Francisco Bay Blues

If your girl returns,
Take her for a walk by the
San Francisco Bay.

Somebody Touched Me

"Somebody touched me."
Jesus testimonial,
Or police report?

Waiting for You

I'll wait on you girl,
Bob says. But he hedges bets --
A smart strategy.

Backdoor Blues

You would be blue too
If your girl split, and then a
Big coffin appeared.

The End of the Innocence

Young lovers escape
The world, however briefly.
They horse around too.

Devilish Mary

Marriage spoils Mary.
She abuses her husband.
Then they get divorced.

Return to Me (Ritorna a Me)

Ritorna a me,
Bella mia! Bob sings this
In "The Sopranos."

Country Pie

Bob loves all his pies
And would ride geese to get them.
Give him some more pie!

People Get Ready

Next time Jesus comes,
It'll be by train. Curtis
Mayfield is driving.

Rise Again

Jesus talks some smack.
He's up for revenge. He'll put
A cap in their ass.

Ye Shall Be Changed

You know you will change.
Bob doesn't say why you will.
Pretty sure it's God.

Nadine

Let me off the bus -
I see Nadine walking by.
She hate me, but still!

Song for Canada (One Single River)

Ian Tyson's song
Might be a love letter to
Quebec separatists.

North Country Blues

Bob's a girl again:
Momma mines, mine shuts down,
Town dies, the kids leave.

The Heart That You Own

It can't be easy
When someone else owns your heart.
You have to pay rent.

Milk Cow Blues

Bob's milk cow is missing.
Unfortunate metaphor
For his ladyfriend?

Sarah Jane

Bob and his family
Are riding a riverboat
Called "Big MacMillan."

My Head's in Mississippi

A naked cowgirl
Plagues a wandering bluesman.
He's homesick as well.

Mutineer

Arrr! Warren Zevon
Says he's your mutineer, and
He wants your booty!

I Want My Milk (And I Want It Now!)

I want my milk! Bath!
Cod liver oil, my rattle!
My vitamin drops!

Kindhearted Woman

He has a good girl,
But he spends more time thinking
About the bad girls.

Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You

Bob won't take that train.
He gives his seat to someone
And stays home with you.

Keep Your Hands off Her

Don't touch my woman.
She got everything I want,
So hands off, buddy.

London Calling

The Clash is not punk.
Dylan covering the Clash?
Now that's punk, buddy.

Congratulations

Good job, sweetie.
You broke Bob's heart. Was that nice?
Bob isn't so thrilled.

Dixie

Minnesota Bob
Wishes he were Dixie-bound.
I'll stay in Jersey.

Help Me Make It Through the Night

Our singer needs help
Making it through the night. Damn --
He'll take anyone.

"Bob Dylan Songs"

Kraftwerk crashes into Bob Dylan. This song is silly, smart and creepy. I found it through Jesse Dylan on Twitter after my colleague and friend Felix Salmon retweeted an equally interesting article about Sonoma County and an elderly homosexual couple there. That is a tangent. Here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8OtPDQSfzo

Hangknot Slipknot

Try out this hangknot.
Once you do, you won't ever
Try another one.

Grasshoppers on My Pillow

Bob's girl mistreats him
So he splits. He's alone now
With grasshoppers, bugs.

Every Night When the Sun Goes Down

A boy leaves a girl,
Says he has to bail. Surprise!
He knocked her up good.

Gypsy Lou

Loving Gypsy Lou
Can wear Bob down because she's
Gone again -- Again!

The Girl I Left Behind

If you leave a girl,
She'll marry another man,
And you'll be sorry!

Female Rambling Sailor

Young boy gets press-ganged.
And drowns far away. Same thing
Happens to his girl.

Don't You Push Me Down

You can be mean and
Bounce my ball up and down, but
Don't you push me down!

Earth Angel

Found an earth angel?
Be sure to ask her if she
Will belong to you.

Fever

When you love Bob up,
He gets the fever so bad,
Just like Peggy Lee.

Highway 61 Revisited

Highway 61
Is a place for crazy dudes
Whose plans don't work out.

Shot of Love

No drugs, no liquor
For Bob. Nothing's going right.
Love him, don't kill him.

Foot of Pride

Belief don't mean you're
A sheep. Bob shows how to pray,
Yet be cynical.

Detroit City

Living in Detroit
Is good for a paycheck, but
I'd rather be home.

Don't Start Me to Talkin'

Why do you hate a
Snitch? Because once they're talking,
They can't seem to stop.

Dark as a Dungeon

After hearing this,
You'd have to be crazy to
Be a coal miner.

Cupid

Cupid, shoot Bob now.
You did it for Sam Cooke, so
Shoot Bob and his girl.

A Couple More Years

Bob dumps his amor,
Reasoning that he is too old.
Yeah, that old excuse.

Daddy's Going on One More Ride

Can someone tell me whether "Daddy's Going on One More Ride" is really the name of the supposedly Shel Silverstein-penned song that Bob Dylan performed either at a rehearsal or a soundtrack or in concert sometime in 1978? Here is my problem:

Daddy's Going on One More Ride:

I can't find words to
Shel Silverstein's obscure song.
Is it even real?

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Tweedle Dum and Dee:
Not exactly best of friends
As the world ends...

Never Gonna Be the Same Again

She changed Bob for good.
Seems like he might have screwed up.
Now he bitches, moans.

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

You all must smoke pot
No matter what you do. Bob
takes his own advice.

Hallelujah

Leonard Cohen finds
The secret chord. Bob and friends
Play it constantly.

Baby Stop Cryin'

Some asshole hurt you.
Bob will love you. Go to him,
But please be quiet.

What Can I Do for You?

God, since you've saved Bob,
He wants to give something back.
What can he get you?

I Walk the Line

Being a lover
Don't just mean smoochin'. It means
Walking what you talk.

Dink's Song

A mishmash of blues.
It might be short, but Bob tries
Every tired cliche.

Beyond Here Lies Nothin'

This love will be ours
After all this time searching.
What's past is prologue!

Honey Just Allow Me One More Chance

Bob begs for his girl.
He tries some slippery rhymes.
Who knows? It might work.

Branded Man

When you're an ex-con,
Nobody will let you forget.
That sure sucks, don't it?

Blue Suede Shoes

Who knew Bob Dylan
Had a pair of blue suede shoes?
Don't step on them, pal.

Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground

Getting ditched is bad.
Write a hit song about it
And then feel better.

Ball and Biscuit

Bob and pal Jack White
Ask a girl to fool around
And then grab a bite.

Baby Please Don't Go

New Orleans: You know
It's a place where Bob doesn't
Want you to go, babe.

Ain't Gonna Grieve

Bob suggests talking
Your way out of depression;
A lot of talking

Stepchild

Bob says you treat him
Like your stepchild. How unfair,
When he loves you so!

Let's Keep It Between Us

We might have trouble,
But don't you think that's *our* thing?
Hon, let's be discreet.

With God on Our Side

Folks say God helps them.
Bob sees the fallacy here,
Yet asks him favors.

Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?

Your husband, that drip,
Traps you in bourgeois cages.
He's SO not worth it.

Clothesline Saga

Here's a bizarre tale:
Bob hangs wash, talks to some guy,
Goes back in the house.

Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts

One confusing tale,
Too many plots to follow.
Bank heist, heartache, death.

Property of Jesus

Go ahead, tease the
Jesus freak. But keep in mind,
His name is "Dylan."

She's My Baby (Traveling Wilburys)

Dylan's tongue, your throat.
Three other dudes get to watch.
Good-time rock n' roll!

Love Rescue Me

Bob, Bono and gang
Get sanctimonious
On this U2 song.

Lay Lady Lay

Bob wants you in bed.
He's got balls and beds of brass.
You're lying on them.

Rock Me, Mama

Dylan offers you
Several ways you can rock him.
Why not try some out?

Diamond Joe

Diamond Joe's buddy
Thinks "fun" means rootin'-tootin'
Lootin' an' shootin'

Red Cadillac and a Black Moustache

Your secret lover
Has unwanted facial hair
And a big, red car.

Everything Is Broken

There's no arguing
And little more to tell you
With titles like that

One for My Baby (One for the Road)

Bob wants one more drink
Before he drives himself home.
Watch out for cops, Bob.

Cocaine Blues

Bob's like most rock stars.
He got the cocaine running
All around his brain.

Caribbean Wind

Holy Roller Bob
Can't match Caribbean girl's
Graham-Greene-life story.

Black Diamond Bay

An Altmanesque cast
In Irwin Allen's "Earthquake."
They die in the end.

It's All Over Now, Baby Blue

Bob leaves a lover
Who can't face reality.
So it goes, baby.

Blowin' in the Wind

Bob knows so little.
He asks where the answers are.
He has a strong hunch.